Autocomplete

Autocomplete | ExtraLyrics

I spend hours at a time signed online at a coffee shop

That's fine, but I have to buy something or they make me stop

So every 20 minutes, there's a drink with caffeine in it

And I'm so hyped up that I can type 300 words a minute

The problem is, of course, that I can't control my hands

So now I'm typing random things that no one can understand

But when I read this paragraph, I just need to laugh

'Cos I won NaNoWriMo in an hour and a half 1

Then, while I tried to think of something witty to say

I went to Google one day and typed in the letter J

I was thrilled when it filled in all the rest for me, you see

'Cos obviously they know what's best for me

I was excited to try out and see what this feature does

But I also wondered what this kind of sorcery was

I've seen software that could do amazing things in my time

But I've never seen a program that could read my mind

Autocomplete! Auto-immune! Autobot! Autotune!

Automobile! Automation! Auto-erotic asphyxiation!

Sometimes I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger!

Dinosaurs are made up by the CIA to discourage time travel!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

I hate it when I'm making a milkshake and the boys just show up in my yard!

If I ate myself, would I be twice as big, or disappear completely?

At what point does CPR become necrophilia?

Things online used to be so hard to find

You had to type in all your searches one letter at a time

We had to find a better way, because I didn't have all day

And where did they hide the letter Y key anyway?

Now I can't express to you how much things are better

I feel like it's Wheel of Fortune -- time to pick a letter

I put in words at random, or sometimes I even planned 'em

Either way, today I'm startin' up my newest nerdy fandom

I'm thinking we should have a convention once a year

To discuss the newest autocompletes that may appear

We can stay up all night as the nerds have a fight

Over who was the better captain, Piccolo or Kite

And we can sit in filk circles, and sing our favourite songs

With autocompleted lyrics so they all come out wrong

And we'll take every chance to make up new nerdy rants

And I can cosplay as Frodo from The Lord of the Dance

Autocomplete! Auto-immune! Autobot! Autotune!

Automobile! Automation! Auto-erotic asphyxiation!

Jersey Shore is a herpes nest!

Optimus Prime died for your sins!

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

Do midgets have night vision?

I like to scare deaf people by yawning!

Can you get AIDS from swimming in a pool with black people?

Why doesn't my boyfriend get his period?

How do I google something?

They say your soul mate is the one who understands you

The one who takes control of your soul and freakin' brands you

I've searched all around, I finally found it and I flipped

Turns out the one who knows me best is a chunk of javascript

Sometimes it makes me nervous, though, I have to say

'Cos Google knows more about me than the NSA

I love it though, I don't want to sound like I'm griping

'Cos really, who has time to do all of that typing?

I don't have a chance to answer all of my fans

It's too much wear and tear on my finely-manicured hands

So now I let it fill in when I type the letter K

And in fact that's exactly what I wanted to say

So thank you to whoever wrote the ESP routine

How did you know I was looking for that Golden Girls scene?

You've provided me with countless random internet fun

But now I gotta go, because I don't have anything done

Autocomplete! Auto-immune! Autobot! Autotune!

Automobile! Automation! Auto-erotic asphyxiation!

Top 10 hottest sex offenders in Texas!

What do I do when a ginger kid bites me?

Is it normal for my left nipple to be bigger than the other two?

How can I get my girlfriend to tape her fingers together and pretend she's a dinosaur?

I'm having trouble dealing with the fact that Edward Cullen is a fictional character!

Is it wrong to sleep with your stepdad after your mom dies?

Pants are an illusion, and so is death!

My balls are stuck in my Xbox!

I accidentally slept with my mom!

When do men start to grow their condom?

How do you kill 11 million people?

Urethra Franklin!

Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?

I am extremely terrified of Chinese people!

Why do all these old bands keep copying Glee songs?

Stop finishing my sentences!

1. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, a nonprofit organisation that promotes creative writing. Its flagship program is an annual event in which participants attempt to write 50,000 words in one month.

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